Pants: Forgotten Armor, Hidden Enemy
If there was a GM school, it wouldn't prepare you for this.
Bryce : hihabnabitmkiii : Hi.
Bryce : Well, the game was interesting.
Josh's character "made friends" with a crazy cyborg girl. Unfortunately she quickly became obsessed with him and he ended up taking some insanity points from her unusual, er, hobbies.
habnabitmkiii : Like what?
Bryce : Taking apart dead people and storing the interesting bits in cold storage.
habnabitmkiii : But Captain Idiot didn't fall victim to this?
Bryce : No, not yet anyhow. However she did abduct him. The rest of the party went to save him from the clutches of Crazy Cyborg Girl, as Biptetk and CR still had their telepathic link.
Space Gnome and Biptetk go to rescue Josh from Crazy Cyborg Girl. They force their way into her home and get confronted by a big cyborg guy who clobbers Biptetk.
Space Gnome, however, escaped by the Power of Awesome, and found Josh and CCG.
Josh was unconscious and missing his pants. CCG claimed she had poisoned him and that if Space Gnome killed her he would not know the antidote.
Space Gnome bought this story, which was actually a bluff. Negotiations proceeded and eventually CCG told Space Gnome that the antidote was in one of the drawers.
Now, Space Gnome is a Scanner now, a class that can perform Detect Hazards for free once a turn. However he did not do this for whatever reason and thus did not detect the trap hidden the the drawers. BOOM, Space Gnome is knocked out.
Crazy Cyborg Girl used the brief moment of confusion to get away.
Josh woke up, eventually.
GM: "Okay, you're in a small room; it is smokey and there is a fire in the corner. Very uncomfortable! There is also an unconscious gnome near the fire and you have no pants. What do you do?"
Space Gnome: "Save the gnome."
Josh: "I have no pants? I look for my pants."
habnabitmkiii : Hahahah!
Space Gnome: "SAVE THE GNOME!"
GM: "You find your pants, but they're burned in the fire."
Josh: "Uh, I look for other pants."
Space Gnome: "SAVE THE GNOME! Pants can wait!"
GM: ... "Okay. You find some pants."
Josh: "Okay, I put them on."
Space Gnome: ...
GM: "They don't fit very well. You're having trouble. Roll for putting-on-pants."
(He does so.)
GM: "Okay. With much difficulty you put the pants on. There is still a fire and quite a bit of smoke."
habnabitmkiii : I wonder what would've happened had he failed the putting-on-pants roll.
Bryce : Ripped pants? Tripping and falling into the fire, crushing the gnome? Depends on how badly he'd failed.
Josh: "Okay. Um... Oh yeah. I pick up the gnome."
So, Josh carries Space Gnome out. Space Gnome makes the roll and wakes up on her own at about this time.
Biptetk, meanwhile, escapes from the place where he was captured and they all escape.
At this point you might think: Well, that's the end of that. But no. Josh's loose lips had informed Crazy Cyborg Girl (and her cyborg mom, who is the surgeon at the cyborg clinic) that the party had the Sword of Awesome. (Which they want, for various reasons.)
Also, Crazy Cyborg Girl showed her sword to Josh. Her sword is an improved version of the Sword of Awesome. Yes, it also talks. But it is less annoying - that's one of the improvements.
The party - primarily Biptetk - now covets the other sword (The Ultimate Sword), and chases after CCG to get it.
Josh discovered that chasing is hard to do it tight leather girl's pants.
habnabitmkiii : Hahahah.
Bryce : The whole chase took rather longer than you'd expect, since it is somewhat difficult to ask for an "uncomfortable-pants running check" with a straight face...
So, eventually he got tired of struggling with his girl pants and decided to take them off. Thus freed of the confines of pants, he caught up with the group.
They met up with CCG at the entrance to a passenger ship. There was a brief battle as the party tried to murder her for her cool sword. However, the cool sword proved more than enough to prevent this.
Josh's character tried his best to do a distracting dance to draw CCG's attention, but that wasn't very successful.
habnabitmkiii : Oh god. I thought that you wouldn't be able to come up with a more amusing dice roll...
Bryce : Heh... yeah. Times like that remind me that no set of rules can be complete with respect to all the kinds of conflict-resolution mechanics.
Meanwhile, CCG's mom and her mom's big burly cyborg friend showed up to help CCG out. Having had so much trouble with junior, Biptetk decided it wasn't worth it and retreated after a brief clash. Space Gnome joined him.
Josh, however, being preoccupied with mastering the "+3 Dance of Cyborg Girl Distraction", apparently failed to notice the change in plans.
So while the other two left, Josh actually got closer to CCG, and indeed followed her as she "retreated" onto the passenger ship they were near.
CCG seemed to be falling for his dancing and... other... behaviors, but he failed a few perception rolls and, by the time he decided to look around...
The door had closed and the ship was in space, trapped with an obsessive and dangerous girl.
habnabitmkiii : What was in the ship? Just passengers?
Bryce : Yeah. Well, and a squad of Vulpinian hijackers, but the party doesn't know that yet.
Anyway, seeing his obvious concern, CCG informed Josh that everything would be fine. She had obtained a suite, and the ship was headed for an isolated space station where they could "build a new life together..."
Josh ran away to hide in the men's bathroom, stopping only to turn down a flight attendant's offer of complementary pants. (Why? I don't know...) There, he proceeded to bang his head on the wall for the remainder of the session.
habnabitmkiii : Hahahahahah.
Bryce : Meanwhile... in another thread: Momma Cyborg sees Biptetk. Earlier, she had said something that put his Sword of Awesome into safety mode we he threatened her with it (her husband was the weaponsmith who made it, you see; it was stolen from the family).
Biptetk had the audacity to just demand that she fix it for him.
Instead she said something that made it shock him and knock him out.
Then, of course, she takes (steals? reclaims? liberates?) the sword from him.
But Space Gnome noticed this and, of course, she intervenes.
Not a few hours ago, Space Gnome had gotten a Cybernetic eye implant from this person, mind you. That's important in a moment.
Bryce : So, Momma Cyborg and Space Gnome have a little confrontation, in which they agree to discuss the matter before jumping to any sudden actions. (The surgeon offered Space Gnome lots of money for just letting her take the sword while Biptetk was unconscious, and apparently Space Gnome thought any seven-figure offer was worth discussing, at least.)
The two of them go to a private place - the back room of the psionist's association. The only other person there is an old Space Gnome. Mind you, this guy is not very reputable: he previously sold Space Gnome the corpse of a fallen comrade for a psionic book. (Space Gnome resold the corpse to Crazy Cyborg Girl, which, interestingly, set off this whole chain of events.)
The surgeon whips out this card with a malicious software patch for the cybernetic eye on it. The eye just looks at it and starts updating.
So Space Gnome sees it and gets partially stunned.
She tries to whack the card away, but, distracted, gets nailed by the cyborg with a needle that has a rapidly-acting unconsciousness-producing compound on it. In the last moments before being knocked out, Space Gnome uses Psychloc k on the cyborg, making her unconscious as well.
Within seconds of each other, both combatants drop to the ground, out cold.
So the amoral old gnome sells them both into slavery.
habnabitmkiii : Hahahah!
Bryce : Meanwhile, someone in the crowd steals Biptetk's sword before he is woken up by Olivia and a Vulpinian named Ubej (a sort of liaison for the refugees). They inform him that an Imperial patrol is headed to the station and that they have to leave now. It's 15 minutes away from the station, they tell him.
Biptetk says that he's going to rescue his people, but that the ship should leave in 20 minutes if he doesn't come back to it. Neither Olivia nor the Vulpinian noticed that 20 minutes was less than 15 minutes, unfortunately. So, they're going to leave in about 13 minutes when they realize that the Imperials are closer than they realized.
Bryce : To summarize:
(1) Biptetk is in all probability going to end up stranded on the pirate station;
(2) Josh is trapped with a crazy cyborg girl;
(3) Space Gnome was sold into slavery.
(4) The Imperial Navy is about to show up.
I'm sure it is going to make for an... interesting session. Oh, and, ironically - Captain Idiot also ended up as Space Gnome's slave earlier, thanks to the miracle of forged documents.
habnabitmkiii : How hard could it be for Space Gnome to escape, though?
Bryce : Her psionic powers will be disabled. (There is a nice section I put in the psionics rules for this purpose, on how psionists are "dealt with" in captivity.) Similar with the cyborg's implants.
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